15 things I learned about myself in 2015

Another new year, another great moment to reflect on myself and how I’ve grown and where I can still improve. In no particular order, here are 15 thing I learned about myself in 2015!!

  1. I miss being in school a lot more than I expected (it’s a big change since I’ve been in a classroom since I was 3)
  2. I’m not so good at making new long-lasting friendships (maybe this will improve in 2016! I have hope!)
  3. I’m really not so great at keeping in touch with people – sorry, Mom! (and Claire and friends and everyone)
  4. I’m good at customer service and getting better at making coffee drinks (yay barista job!)
  5. I am capable of teaching a class full of young children and maintaining classroom management – but maybe it’s not my destined career path? (yep, typical post-grad confusion)
  6. A part of my soul will always be in Ireland (and I can’t wait to return)
  7. I’m good at baking, and getting better at cooking! (and I’m becoming obsessed with cookbooks)
  8. I have an addictive personality (I knew this before but it’s been hard to ignore in 2015)
  9. I am capable of working chaotic 8/10 hour shifts at the coffee bar (maybe because of the loads of free caffeine)
  10. I freaking love Gilmore Girls (how had I not seen this show before?)
  11. I need structure and the motivation of a class to be able to exercise often (yay Pure Barre boo expensive)
  12. I’m an okay driver! (licensed driver, baby)
  13. I’m loving married life and all that adult-ness (hi Ben!!)
  14. Blogging consistently is not my strong suit (so many ideas, so little time so bad at putting in the time that it needs)
  15. I’m not as good at dealing with change as I thought (granted, I’ve had a lot of huge life changes in 2015, but still, it’s helpful to know about myself)

I challenge you to come up with 15 things you’ve learned about yourself in 2015 – it sounds like an easy task, but might be harder than you’d think! It’s been a nice way to reflect on my personal growth, and lack thereof. I’m looking forward to discovering all that 2016 holds in store for me!

Thanks for reading! ~Margaret

Scrolling for change

What is it about a Humans of New York photo and heart-wrenching story that makes us suddenly care? What is it about a tragic picture of a lifeless three-year-old’s body washed up on the beach that makes us all want to stand up and help? And why do these aching feelings seem to subside so quickly and disappear from the social consciousness?

Social media and the global immediacy of the news these days makes us simultaneously so aware of social justice issues, but the fact that it comes and goes from our news feeds, and minds, so quickly makes it so easy to move on and almost more difficult to really care or take purposeful action in the long term. I feel guilty just thinking that I scroll through past stories of struggle and hardship and loss around the world any time I am on my phone, sometimes stopping to look and investigate if it holds my interest long enough, or if it’s relatable. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a genuinely crappy person or if it’s because it’s too overwhelming to me to learn about all of this pain in the world and not be able to feel like I’m exacting any change on it.

Reading these stories and educating myself about what’s going on in the world is so important, and I think that you can’t do responsible social justice work without making yourself fully aware of the situation. But where I’m at in my life right now, what kind of social justice work can I even do? I’m not the kind of person who’ll share an article on Facebook about something and mentally check off a box thinking that I’ve spread enough awareness for the day. Now that I’m not in college, where I could feel like I was making a difference in my little social activist circles, and now that I’m in a place where I don’t feel like I’m a part of any particular community, what can I do? At the same time, doing social justice things for the sake of making yourself feel better isn’t a great reason for motivation.

While I work on figuring this out, I’ll just keep reading and scrolling and watching and talking and learning. I think that’s the best I can do.

Thanks for reading! ~Margaret

A letter to my future self – Blogtober Day 8

Today’s prompt: A letter to yourself in 10 years



Dear future self,

You’re 31. I’ve always thought of that age as a time when people automatically have all of their shit together – how’s that going for you? I’m so curious to see what career path you end up in. Did you decide to really become a teacher? Are you working in a non-profit? A bookstore? Are you a stay-at-home mom? Whatever you ended up doing, I hope you’re enjoying it.

How’s married life? As I’m writing this, I’m engaged to Ben, and we’ve been dating for a little over 3 and a half years. Give future Ben a kiss for me! I have no doubts in my mind that ten years from now, you’ll be happily married to him, and you’ll probably have kids. I know you’ve dreamed about that for a while, so I hope it’s everything you wished for, and more.

Of course, nothing ever goes perfectly to plan, and there are always going to be ups and downs along the way. I’m hoping that you didn’t get stuck in any of the pits for too long. I know that’s something I’ve struggled with in college, and I’m hoping that being away from the stress of school will have helped with that. I hope you’re smiling and enjoying all of the beautiful things in life, like your family, the nature around you, an interesting book, and good coffee.

I don’t really know what to say in a letter to my future self, other than to ask questions. I’m so curious to see what my life will hold for me, and am so excited to embrace every joy and challenge out there that may come my way. Keep me updated.

Love,
Margaret
Age 21, sitting in my dorm room (Emerson 206!) post FAW meeting. I hope future Margaret is a kick ass feminist.

PS – How’s the blog going?

Helene in Between

Thanks for reading! Margaret

A meteorologist, a teacher, and a mother walk into a bar…

Did that get your attention?

As a way to challenge myself to write more (and to have topics to actually write about!) I have decided to participate in #Blogtober14, which is a challenge to write a blog post every day in October, complete with prompts!

I’ve never done anything like this before, and have never participated in any of those “link up” blog challenges that are apparently a thing people do. The challenge is hosted by two blogs that are more “lifestyle” than anything I’ve attempted before, and there are a bunch of beauty/fashion/etc prompts – again, that’s an area I’ve never wandered into on this blog before, so I’m a little nervous!

blogtober14 prompts

I’m a day behind, since it’s October 2nd, but technically I blogged yesterday – just without the prompt!

 

Today’s prompt is… Dream job when you were little/ what is it now?

But wait, there’s more!

Summer adventures, continued

Some noteworthy that have happened since my last blog post:

Day trip to Connemara and Galway with friends

This included a lot of sitting on a very bouncy bus, with stops at a peat bog, Kylemore Abbey (so beautiful it looks fake), an hour long cruise from Killary Harbor around Ireland’s only fjord, a tiny little town where I got a handmade leather wallet, and an hour in Galway city (where we could’ve spent a lot more time!). Overall, it was a good trip! (PS – I haven’t edited all any of the photos from my nice camera, so a lot of these are just quick phone snapshots!)

 

Spent time drinking delicious tea and reading

Some days after work, I spent some time sitting in Bewley’s Cafe or in the friendly, hip Accents Coffee & Tea Lounge, sipping on tea and reading. While I’ve been here, I finished Looking for Alaska by John Green. It was a quick read and was well written for a young adult novel (his debut novel as well!), but I had a hard time connecting with the characters. I didn’t really like any of them, and felt annoyed with the narrator (a 16/17 year old boy) most of the time. The ending of the book was the kind that gave me goosebumps because it closed out the story so well, and the story itself was pretty gripping, but I just didn’t come away from the book with a great overall feeling. John Green gets a lot of praise for being a great YA lit author (and a lot of hate/criticism, some of which I really agree with), but this book just didn’t live up to the hype for me. It’ll be interesting to see the movie version of it! I am now reading It’s Not Yet Dark by Simon Fitzmaurice. It’s already incredibly moving and powerful!

 

Went to Longitude Festival with my friend Sara

My boss was kind enough to let me take a half day on a Friday to go to the Longitude Festival out in Marlay Park! My friend Sara and I had looked at tickets for it earlier in the summer, since we both love Bastille and they were playing on the main stage, but had decided back then that the tickets were too pricey. One week before the festival, we impulsively decided to go! Bastille doesn’t tour around the US very often, so this was a great opportunity to see them. We left Dublin via coach bus around 2pm, and spent the day watching new (to us) bands perform and getting excited about Bastille. The set-up for the festival at the sprawling Marlay Park was awesome – there were different stages tucked in random wooded fields and there were tons of delicious food stands. It was forecasted to rain that day, but it was barely even cloudy – we lucked out! Bastille was excellent (aside from the tall annoying man standing in front of me) and they’re even better live than they are on their album. I also discovered Hudson Taylor, a brother duo from Dublin who perform folksy-indie original songs that make me very happy to listen to! It was a long day, and we got back to Dublin around 11:30pm after a lot of walking, but it was definitely time and money well spent!

 

But wait, there’s A LOT more!

What does recovery really mean?

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

I have had a hard time defining what “recovery” or “being in recovery” actually means. At what point are you actually recovered? How long does recovery take? What do you have to do to recover? And what happens if you relapse?

I am in the process of recovering from my eating disorder. This isn’t something I usually open up about or broadcast to the world, and I know that it’s not something that I’ve told even my closest friends about. So why write a blog post? This blog is a way for me to get out feelings and thoughts that I don’t know how to express otherwise. My eating disorder is an incredibly personal thing that has been a source of internal shame for a long time, and keeping a shroud of silence around it is going to do nothing to help push away those feelings of shame and disappointment. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to talk about, and always wanted to tell people about, but I haven’t figured out a way to do it before. I’m the type of person who is worried about what other people think about me, and coming out as having an eating disorder puts me out there for a good deal of judgement. Just by looking at me, you could never tell that I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder since freshman year of high school. Too many other girls and women are feeling the same shame, frustration, and confusion that I have felt for the past 6 years, and talking about it is the only way that I know how to help others.

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) has declared February 23 – March 1 to be National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, so I figured that this would be as good a time as any to write a post about recovering.

Warning: triggering content about eating disorders

But wait, there’s more!