Lots of love over here!

I’ve been going non-stop this week! Lots to love floating around & not a lot of time to sit down and write about it unfortunately, but heyo, I made it!

weekly loves, Sept 4 – 10

Puppy love

Moose has been at peak cuteness this week. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get much cuter but dang it, every day he somehow makes it happen!

As the weather has gotten cooler, we’ve been getting him used to wearing sweaters. I love it so much, and I think he’s tolerating it… Just the cutest thing ever. He’s close to being totally potty trained {so close… stubborn Frenchies!} and has been SO loving & cuddly this week. What a good squish.

What Made Maddy Run

I finished this book up on Monday. It was a pretty quick read & was written well, so I would definitely recommend it. Warning, though, it’s about a sensitive topic. It dives into the life {and the end, specifically} of a new college student Madison Holleran, who struggled with depression, the pressure of school athletics, & perfectionism. Her story was intriguing to many, since she put on a front of total happiness via her Instagram, and lots of people could relate to the intense stress of being a student athlete. No happy ending here unfortunately, but we can all learn from her life to spend each day doing what we love & to reach out when we need help.

{If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 1-800-273-TALK (8255)}

Community

On a lighter note, I have been feeling the love from my friends & family lately. I am so grateful to have a network of supporting & loving people surrounding me, both near and far. I posted this week about how I’m making some substantial changes in my life and how I spend my time, and have been feeling warm & fuzzy from all the positive responses from my people. Thanks, y’all.

Also, Ben and I {and Moose} spent the evening at the WYSO Community Concert at a park in downtown Dayton – lovely weather, lovely music, & lovely vibes! Yay for loving local. <3

 

 

On quitting

I’m not great at quitting things.

I realized the other day that I’ve been slightly overcommitted with my time for as long as I can remember. It’s just my way of life, apparently.

Being busy runs in the family – I think we have a hard time saying no to things. Whether we’re busy with jobs, school, nonprofit boards, social action groups, church, advocacy, clubs, you name it – our calendars are packed. Even my grandmother just recently stepped down from her position on the board of a nonprofit.  When I was in college, I was a part of multiple clubs and on the executive boards of two of them, all the while being a double major & working/interning/student teaching. I get exhilarated looking at a full planner. But, also exhausted.

When we moved to Dayton two years ago, I got a job about three weeks after arriving – before we even had a house to actually live in.

Yesterday, I gave my two week’s notice at that job.

I’ve loved that job, I’ve hated that job, but most importantly, I’ve made incredibly close friendships and learned about what it means to adult at that job – to live in the real world, interact with everyday people, deal with intense frustration, share in the joy and sadness of others, and just plain work hard. I didn’t expect to stay in this job longer than a few months, but, here I am.

At the same time that I’ll be leaving this job, I will also be leaving the board of my local Air Force spouses group, of which I have been a part of for a year & a half. I joined the group right when I arrived, and in true Fogarty fashion, joined the board just a few months later.

If it weren’t for this spouses group, I would not have met so many incredible women who inspire me on the daily.

I would not have learned what it really means to be a military spouse.

I’ve learned so dang much about military life in general through this group – this new world that I stepped into when I said my vows would have been a much scarier place without this group. Being on the board meant that I was able to form deeper friendships and, frankly, learn about life from these spouses – both “seasoned” and new.

I won’t be leaving the group itself, but stepping down from a leadership role is something I’m just not used to. Being on the board of a group, something that I’ve done since high school, makes me feel like I’m in control {if only slightly} of the direction of the group that I attach my identity to. Being in groups like this is also how I make most of my friends.

Without being on the board & so closely tied to this group of women, I will have to be more intentional with developing my friendships, or acquaintance-ships. Not a word, not really a phrase, but it feels oddly accurate for military life.

I “know” a lot of people, but would they actually call me a friend? I have my doubts.

Ah. It’s so odd to be leaving two big things at once. It feels scary, it feels so so sad, but it feels freeing. I can take a second to breathe. {and maybe clean the house…} I feel guilty for not being a part of these things, and nervous about having to intentionally seek out social time outside of the realm of meetings & arranged events. I have to figure out my identity as someone who is less involved, less busy. I have to quiet those feelings of guilt for having free time, which is a commodity that many many many folks do not have.

Really though, I need to remind myself to quit explaining & reasoning away my choices.

I am so endlessly grateful to the people that I’ve met at my job & on the spouses board for the impacts they’ve had on my life – great, small, & everything in between.

I may currently have a giant mixing bowl full of feelings sitting in front of me, but I trust that things will turn out just fine in the end.

On radio silence + the new normal

As you can tell, I cut my #summersnaps a little short this year. Partly because I just wasn’t loving the format of small photo dumps every day on the blog {cluttered!} and partly because of the new puppy craziness. Mostly though, it was due to our ailing cat, Samson.

In case you haven’t seen my Instagram posts, we found out a few weeks ago that our big pile of love, Samson, had pretty terrible kidney failure. The vet gave him no more than a month to live, but was even surprised that he wasn’t in a coma when his blood tests were taken – his levels were that bad.

My heart lately had been swelling in size due to love for our new sweet pup, and simultaneously was shattered into a million & one pieces with the news of his.

On August 7, we had to say goodbye to the sweetest, goofiest, and most loyal & loving cat that has ever existed.

Those weeks between the news of his kidney failure and the day he left this world {but never our hearts} were a blur of heartache and so many tears. He was not the same cat at the end of his life, and he made it abundantly clear that he was in pain and was suffering immensely – which was so hard to watch. We were lucky to have a very caring vet who mourned alongside us, and found a beautiful pet cemetery where we could bury Samson. We were also so lucky to have loving people surround us during the rough few days after he left us. There’s nothing like loss to show you who’s in your corner.

His absence will be felt strongly for a long while, which is a testament to how much he loved us in the year we had with him. He was the best cuddle bud. I’m so glad we got to know him and love him.

Do me a favor and search “Samson” on this blog, and you will see some wonderful glimpses at his life with us. And so much love.

So life moves on, and we’re figuring out our new normal, crazy pup & all. I was having a hard time for a while putting into words what Samson meant to us and how deeply we are still feeling this loss.

Add a wild work schedule, sickness, & some travel on top of all of that, and this space has been awfully neglected. You should have seen the plans I had for this month’s blog posts!

But tending to my sensitive heart & slightly shattered soul must always come first.

I’m back now, with plans & lists as always. I’m very glad to have a supportive partner in all of this, and to still have a cuddly cat who always wants to lick my face. Keep your eye on this space for some good content and possible changes soon!

March madness & military life

March has been a wildly busy month – but I think I say that about every month!

It has been a month filled with learning, new projects, stepping out of my comfort zone, lots of coffee, family visits, & goodbyes to good friends.

Continue reading “March madness & military life”

Forty truths & no lies {about me}

Hello there, dear readers & people that I actually know in real life! I love you all!

This is going to be like those beginning-of-the-year icebreakers that everyone actually hates, except I’m the only one talking and it doesn’t suck.

I’ve picked up a few new followers over the past few months & thought it was about time to do a proper introduction of myself.

Standing in the snow & wearing my LuLaRoe, as usual.

And what better way is there to do that than dumping a bunch of random {and some fun} facts out onto the interwebs? I can’t think of anything, so here goes! Continue reading “Forty truths & no lies {about me}”

What Alice Forgot: Book Review

Since getting involved with the book club through my local Air Force spouses group, I’ve read so many books that I might not have picked up on my own, and I love that.

Of course, since I’m one of the leaders of the book club, I do have some say in which books were a part of the poll, but our members voted on the top picks, and we ended up with a few that I wasn’t so sure about.

One of these books in particular was What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty.

This was our November book club pick. I have to admit that I thought this would be another silly chick-lit book that I’d end up getting bored with halfway through & have pretentious feelings about. But, as it turns out, I was wrong.

Continue reading “What Alice Forgot: Book Review”

Resolution revolution

Every year, I make resolutions & barely keep them past week two. I want to change that by not making any resolutions at all.

{I think I wrote a post on this a while ago, buuuuut I’m fairly sure it got lost in the transition last week and I’ve been too dang lazy to figure out how to find those posts again… so here we are.}

It seems odd to think about starting the new year without making specific “resolutions.” It’s a family tradition to get together on New Year’s Eve (or a few days later… or a few weeks later…) and go through a multi-page document that my dad puts together, where we write down our favorites & memories from the last year, and make resolutions and predictions for the year ahead. As we’ve all gotten older, the predictions for each family member have been more and more similar from year to year! It’s always fun to go back to see the previous year’s predictions and to see where we were wrong or right.

For me, though, it is so disappointing to look back on those resolutions, year after year, and not be able to check off any of them as completed or kept.

Even if the year has been full of love and laughter and emotions and growth and all of that good stuff, it still makes me feel strangely inadequate to know that I wasn’t able to stick to these lofty resolutions that would’ve apparently made my year so much better and worthwhile.

So I’m rethinking my need to make resolutions this year.

Continue reading “Resolution revolution”

Validation & the sharing of feelings

If you’ve read this blog before, you’ll know that I like to write about my feeeeeeelings.

I spend a lot of time thinking about everything. I find it helpful & important to give myself time for reflection and connection to my thoughts and feelings, and to get those jumbled-up words on paper & onto my blog. It feels like meditation to me, and helps me come to terms with what I’m feeling as well.

And sometimes, when I share those feels here on my blog, I end up feeling validated as well.

My heart was overflowing with looooove after my post on friendship, because as it turns out, my feelings are shared amongst the military spouse and general twenty-something-lady communities that I’m a part of. I was reassured by Facebook friends and people that I’m just getting to know that I’m not alone in my worries and sentiments. I was reminded that though it can appear as though some people make fast friendships based on certain identities, like religion, it’s not always easy or instant. A lot of what I like to write about, like this topic of friendship, is personal and close to my heart. Friendship is a personal thing, and the way it appears on the internet may not be what it’s like in real life. There are quiet, ever-present friendships that don’t need to be shouted from the virtual rooftops, and there are loud, exciting, I-need-everyone-to-know-how-much-I-love-this-person friendships that just need to be shared. And then there are some that are just in between. Different people get different things out of friendship, and that’s a beautiful thing.

It just felt so good to be understood and heard by others, and to give others a chance to let themselves be heard as well. Maybe I was even able to help them put their feelings into words, and for them to feel a sense of validation as well.

As with most blog posts, I don’t know where I’m going with a post until I’m writing it – definitely a metaphor for how I live my life – but with this one, I just wanted to express how grateful I am for this platform to share my feelings and to get validation back from it. We build relationships by being vulnerable, and that’s what I’m trying to do here. I am appreciative for all who make themselves vulnerable right back by reaching out or sharing their own thoughts. If you’re reading this, you’re awesome, I appreciate you, and thank you for being here.

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